An Open Letter to Volleyball Parents

As a note, this isn’t my usual home or lifestyle content, but it’s something I want to share. I’ve been on both sides of the court,. And recently, I’ve watched more and more families wrestle with what club sports really mean for their kids. This post was originally written for a Facebook group full of local volleyball parents, but honestly? You could swap out “volleyball” for just about any competitive sport these days and it would still hold true.

Whether your child plays soccer, cheer, baseball, gymnastics, or anything in between, I hope this perspective brings a little clarity, comfort, or at the very least, a reminder that you’re not alone in navigating the highs, lows, and sideline snacks of youth sports.

College setting days back in the dark ages.

I felt inclined to share a perspective as someone who played club and college volleyball (back in the dark ages) and is now navigating this world as a parent.

I’ve seen a lot of frustration around tryouts filling up, the costs, and some of the larger clubs getting criticized. I get it. This whole process feels overwhelming. But here’s a gentle reality check from someone who’s been both the athlete and now the parent on the sideline:

There are over 100 clubs in the North Texas region. That number alone shows just how much this sport has exploded. But we have to remember: club volleyball started out as a place for elite players aiming for the next level. And while opportunities have grown, the standards and demands of the game haven’t changed much. If anything, they’ve gotten more demanding. Volleyball still requires a very specific skill set, a certain body type, and athleticism that not every child is going to develop. And that’s okay.

We’ve somehow made it feel like it’s not acceptable to simply enjoy a sport recreationally. Not every child needs to be on a national team. And in truth, not every child should be. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with playing for fun, staying active, being part of a team, and making memories.

The top 3–4 clubs in the NTR region often get labeled as the bad guys, but in reality, they’re just responding to demand. When thousands of families want their daughters to play, they respond by building massive, beautiful facilities, hiring more coaches, and adding performance training, recovery, and travel opportunities. These things add value, but they also come at a cost, and that cost gets passed down to the families, regardless of your daughter’s level. That’s just how the economics of this work.

If you’ve ever watched the top 15s, 16s, and 17s teams in the country, you’ll quickly see the level it takes to get recruited. If that’s not the path your daughter is on, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. It just means you’ll likely be investing tens of thousands over her club career for the experience, not a scholarship.

My 12 year old daughter playing 12U.

My husband and I have had many conversations about all of this as it pertains to our own daughter. We check in with ourselves: if we ever want this more than she does, it’s time to make a change. We’ve also looked at what we’re spending on club volleyball and weighed it against the experiences we’re missing out on as a family because of the financial commitment. That should be a very real and honest conversation for every family. Club sports are an investment—not just of money, but of time, energy, and opportunity cost.

At the end of the day, I’m a firm believer that every kid has a place where they can thrive. If that’s not volleyball, maybe it’s golf, theater, coding, art, robotics, music, equestrian, track, student government, or something else entirely. There are so many paths to confidence, camaraderie, and success.

If your daughter loves the game and this is the right path for her…amazing. Support her, guide her, and go all in. But if it’s not, it’s okay to pivot. Your child’s worth is not tied to a jersey, a club name, or whether her team qualifies for nationals.

Signed, 

A mom who realizes that this year‘s volleyball budget could’ve funded that trip to the Amalfi Coast 🥴